| So I want to quit partying. I want to quit drinking. I want to quit smoking pot.
The problem is that I'll have no way to make friends, which means I'll fail because I'll get lonely. I don't care about anything most people care about. I guess the internet allows me to make my SUPER specific interests seem holy by returning a few beautiful Google results to my 2 word poem-categories. (or a few comments on my Xanga entries =D )
All I can do in the void is build HUGE abstract machines. It's what I do when I'm healthy. I build huge, beautiful abstract machines.
I guess I can do the fucking christian ass bullshit and not have friends but for helping them, friends void of desire. I lose faith in balance every time I end a weekend with a weaker, sicker body and mind.
I still might have the potential to be smart as fuck if I stick to my gut, which is impossible unless I'm alone.
Good god I have no idea how I'm going to live my life.
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Reading this over made me realize I just need to learn actual social skills. I guess it's homeschooling catching up with me.
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| Woman, you don't know what you want so quit fighting and destroying the fauna, there were 2 or 3 lifestyles coming out of the woodwork and you smashed them by shoving your invisible ledger of an ideology through the hallway.
Your mother is wrong, laziness isn't the enemy here. Quit thinking and slide into the pool like a hand slides down the edge of the couch onto your shoulder and under your bra strap. Your body is up the hill, a few fallen logs away from rivers of contentment and your mind is trapped in time solving someone else's problems.
I can melt you but as soon as you move you forget your dream, you bite down on the bit and start pulling your life down the well worn streams that won't light you up and won't let you down.
I'm a field growing weird sexy plants, and you mowed little paths through me and put up a gazebo circumscribed by snapdragons, bless you but ugh.
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Happy springtime!
I've gotten so much better at the internet since I've been gone from here.
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| I had genuine internet friends on Xanga and I haven't found that anywhere else since.
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| The technosphere has its own energy,
synthesis of the technologically charged and the rest of SLOW GROWN HISTORY
is deemed impossible by everyone who doesn't have the pieces spread out on their desks.
I need more time.
Rene Hell
2666
Megazord
Processing.org
I NEED A COMMUNITY
Fairfax is dragging me down is dragging me down.
Quit bringing things into my life that I don't care about to drag me down.
I'll pick up absolutely anything! Keep all boring objects
away from the eyes, mouth, and ears of this
small child.
I'll pick it up and drop my lovers! My babies!
I'll drop them right on the ground if you don't keep everything else away.
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